Thursday, May 21, 2009

(UPDATE) The Birds and the Bees + Wireless Internet =

What do you do when it comes time to have "The Talk" with your kids?

Do you have to plan a time to sit and do it?
Is there a certain age that's appropriate for it?
How do you know it's time for it?
Do you know exactly what you are going to say?
Is it rehearsed?
Are you prepared to answer questions?

I wasn't thinking ANYTHING about this or what I would do/say when it came time to have "The Talk". I mean, c'mon..who is actually prepared for these things?

No one.

BUT... (dammit) I think it's time.

We all know Dom, right?

Well, just recently, we sent the kids to bed and since he's been in trouble I make sure to take away the phone and any of the electronics because I don't want him up at night texting people or playing games when he should be sleeping.

So, I went to his room to get the phone and the door was locked.

I knocked and asked why it was locked and he said because he was changing.


So anyway, I get the phone and take it to my room. I check the texts (cause that's what mommies do) and I came across a few texts between Dom and his girl cousin.

One texts said, "I downloaded p-0-r-n my PSP."

Now, I was like...What? No way...

So I went back (because I totally forgot that he even had a PSP) and asked him for the PSP.

This was the look I got...

With that...I knew something was up.

I told him that I read the text that said he downloaded the p-0-r-n and I wanted the PSP. He handed it over and I took it to my room to figure out how to work the damn thing. I finally found the power button and still had trouble figuring out where to go.

After a short time....I found it.

There was like 55 min of hard-core on there!!!

I was like...HOLY CRAP how in the hell did he download it on his PSP? I have been locking up the computer so he hasn't had access to it.

Then I remembered...Dear Uncle Bobby gave me that wireless router for my anniversary.

Instant Access!! Thanks Bro.

No wonder Dom didn't care if he got sent to his room.

So...of course, like Mommies do...we wake up our husbands to point out our findings and just like unfazed Daddies do......he remained...unfazed.

I went back to Dom's room...with a belt...and whooped his ass.

Dom is 14, he didn't shed a tear.

He's almost taller than I am for goodness sake.

I didn't spank him because of the flick (I don't think) I whooped his ass because I'm pretty sure he was trying to get his girl cousin involved (no..not in sex.. just to show her). She's got enough to deal with in her teenage life and she doesn't need my son to be running around showing her this stuff.

Anyway, this is the milestone in Dom's life.

I think.

He's interested/curious about sex so whooping his ass him isn't going to do it anymore. who has to sit Dom down and give him the talk?

I sure hope Angel is ready for this...

So I communicated with
Capricorn about this situation and he called me a "SPAZ" cause "p0rn and masterbation is normal" <--- his words.

Yeah, I know and...maybe so.

I may have jumped the gun on spanking Dom and now I feel guilty because I panicked. I know spanking him shouldn't have been the answer but...

First child...First "sex" experience. Not what mommy wants to see or know just yet.

I know it's normal. I'm not going to stick Dom in a monestary...just yet.

Can we wait a little while longer before we have to do all of this?
I mean, I'm still having to deal with telling him to put "bigger" clothes on and stop letting his ass show cause his pants keep hanging. (watch out Dominique. I'm going to pull them down sometime if you keep wearing them like that)

Ughhh...that's what I get for not expecting the unexpected.

And just so you know...Dom is fine. We still carry on the way we always have...just without the p0rn on the PSP


On a better note...I am taking Dom out of that Charter school he is going to because I had a talk with his Doctor and he suggested enrolling him into Med Tech.

This is a small discription of it...

A dynamic partnership between:
Colleges and Universities
Medical Facilities
Together we address the need for medical workers that are highly skilled in advanced technologies.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, about 19 percent of all new jobs created between 2006 and 2016 will be in health services—3.6 million jobs. Through the integration of academics, medical, technological and vocational opportunities our goal is to become a new kind of medical high school that produces medical leaders for the 21st century.
Med Tech allows you to apply your academic and medical skills to real world settings. You will have an opportunity to explore the broad fields of medicine and advanced technology to help you make career decisions.

Now see, this is awesome!!

I called and they receptionist told me that there were still 30 spots available for enrollment and that I could enroll online.

So...I did.

Check out their four year course sequence:

I don't know...I know my baby is smart but I told him, "There's CALCULUS on there. I don't know calculus".

I won't be able to help him.

Then he got into this...."How do you not know calculus?? Didn't you have to know it to get through high school??"


Not many, many moons ago when I was in High School.

Anyway, It's in another city about an hour or so away so he will be bussed. Hopefully, this will be a big enough challenge for him!!!

I'm excited.

He's excited.

This is going to be AWESOME!


tha unpretentious narcissist © said...

listen at 14, this shouldn't be his first experience with porn. he's a boy, and boys get curious & look for things to satisfy that curiosity. if there wasn't porn he'd be peeking in little girls windows or trying it out. i also don't think he's become hugh heffner as far as bragging to his cousin. more than likely kids talk to each other about sex, a lot sooner & often then parents do.

i'm willing to bet, he's been experimenting for a while..not what mom's want to hear. but your husband was probably unfazed because unless it's your daughter you're like.."guys do that..". but i'm sure it is a bit unnerving. it is time for yall to have that talk with him & time for his mommy to stop whooping him for looking at porn.

i agree some things aren't suitable for young kids. but just do like my mom erase it, throw it away, put it away in a locked drawer. i promise he'll never ask you, "hey, mom where's my porn?". let's face it at 14, a JcPenny's advertisement can serve as porn. so there really is no getting around it. he's older, let him "tend" to his natural urges w/o making him feel like it's a bad thing. if my mom would have whooped me over porn or sharing it w/ my cousins or friends it would have been a re-enactment of Levar Burton in Roots when they were trying to get him to say his name was "Toby". cause she could whoop me all she wanted, she was NOT ridding me of my

~Sheila~ said...

Alright, so you know I'm cracking up over your comment, man.
Yes, I admit, I freaked out and overreacted just a smidge and I will definitaly take your advice on just putting it away instead of taking the "Roots" route.
Yeah, it's time.
I really appreciate your advice.

Dana said...

I bought all my boys age appropriate sex education books from the bible bookstore. They have them starting really age 4. My boys ALL know about sex and all the appropriate names of the genitalia. I felt it was important to educate them myself before they heard some cockamamy stories from their friends. My oldest has been looking at porn for more than a year. I explained to him that while it's normal to be curious, he's not really emotionally ready for stuff like that. Of course that didn't stop him from downloading a crapload of porno pics from school. Gotta love WIFI! Those were discovered and deleted. It's super normal but it's just terrible how readily available all that stuff is these days. It used to be that they'd have to sneak/steal a nudie magazine. Technology just sort of sucks sometimes. You may want to find out what he's heard about sex and set him straight on what's right and wrong. Good luck!

~Sheila~ said...

I'm getting it now. I'm certainly liking blogging because I can get other's advice instead of just what my extended family has to say (cause you know they ALWAYS have something to say).
I know of a website that Capricorn told me about for him but I may have to wait until school is out.
He has some work to catch up on before he will be accepted into Med Tech so the sex talk can wait one more
Thank you so much for your comment,for putting my mind at ease and helping me transition into a less spastic mom!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

It's out there everywhere now. Actually my introduction to porn was at my dad's house when I found a movie and watched it while they were at work. I was probably about his age.

Beyond Danielle said...

I wouldn't worry about him watching porn, careful he might be actually having sex. So don't make him want to hide things from you. Talk to him about protection and that's all you can do at this point, your little boy is becoming a man

~Sheila~ said...

Yeah, I know, I'm still in the protective phase. It's time for me to transition and start realizing that things are changing. My son is changing. I can see him physically change but I still see him as my baby boy.

Beyond Danielle:
I'm not going to be worrying about it. I will let my husband get him the porn. maybe one day I will be brave enough to do it but right now..still in shock.
I know I need to lighten up. I will and you are right, protection is what's important and I really need him to understand that.
Yup. He's growing up.

Sassy Mama said...

hey my comment didn't post so I have to re-write it. Basically I said..Uh we're sorry about that wireless thing, oops! and I don't think you overreacted with Dom ( we graduated from the same school of thought) yeah kids are going to see stuff like that somehow, somewhere but they can't be so bold to download it at home onto the PSP! if you found it (and you're the mom (i always knew what my siblings were up to) then so could the other kids. But you do have to have the talk because you don't want your son to think that porn sex is all that sex is about and Dom will be dating sooner than we'd like to think about (NOOOO!) and you don't want him to be that guy who thinks every girl he wants should be starring in his home movies.