(UPDATE) The Birds and the Bees + Wireless Internet =

What do you do when it comes time to have "The Talk" with your kids?

Do you have to plan a time to sit and do it?
Is there a certain age that's appropriate for it?
How do you know it's time for it?
Do you know exactly what you are going to say?
Is it rehearsed?
Are you prepared to answer questions?

I wasn't thinking ANYTHING about this or what I would do/say when it came time to have "The Talk". I mean, c'mon..who is actually prepared for these things?

No one.

BUT... (dammit) I think it's time.

We all know Dom, right?

Well, just recently, we sent the kids to bed and since he's been in trouble I make sure to take away the phone and any of the electronics because I don't want him up at night texting people or playing games when he should be sleeping.

So, I went to his room to get the phone and the door was locked.

I knocked and asked why it was locked and he said because he was changing.

Yeah...

So anyway, I get the phone and take it to my room. I check the texts (cause that's what mommies do) and I came across a few texts between Dom and his girl cousin.

One texts said, "I downloaded p-0-r-n my PSP."

Now, I was like...What? No way...

So I went back (because I totally forgot that he even had a PSP) and asked him for the PSP.

This was the look I got...



With that...I knew something was up.

I told him that I read the text that said he downloaded the p-0-r-n and I wanted the PSP. He handed it over and I took it to my room to figure out how to work the damn thing. I finally found the power button and still had trouble figuring out where to go.

After a short time....I found it.

There was like 55 min of hard-core on there!!!

I was like...HOLY CRAP how in the hell did he download it on his PSP? I have been locking up the computer so he hasn't had access to it.

Then I remembered...Dear Uncle Bobby gave me that wireless router for my anniversary.

Instant Access!! Thanks Bro.

No wonder Dom didn't care if he got sent to his room.

So...of course, like Mommies do...we wake up our husbands to point out our findings and just like unfazed Daddies do......he remained...unfazed.

I went back to Dom's room...with a belt...and whooped his ass.

Dom is 14, he didn't shed a tear.

He's almost taller than I am for goodness sake.

I didn't spank him because of the flick (I don't think) I whooped his ass because I'm pretty sure he was trying to get his girl cousin involved (no..not in sex.. just to show her). She's got enough to deal with in her teenage life and she doesn't need my son to be running around showing her this stuff.

Anyway, this is the milestone in Dom's life.

I think.

He's interested/curious about sex so whooping his ass him isn't going to do it anymore.

So...now....guess who has to sit Dom down and give him the talk?


I sure hope Angel is ready for this...

UPDATE:
So I communicated with Capricorn about this situation and he called me a "SPAZ" cause "p0rn and masterbation is normal" <--- his words.

Yeah, I know and...maybe so.

I may have jumped the gun on spanking Dom and now I feel guilty because I panicked. I know spanking him shouldn't have been the answer but...

DUDE....I PANICKED!!
First child...First "sex" experience. Not what mommy wants to see or know just yet.

I know it's normal. I'm not going to stick Dom in a monestary...just yet.
(kidding)

Still....
Can we wait a little while longer before we have to do all of this?
I mean, I'm still having to deal with telling him to put "bigger" clothes on and stop letting his ass show cause his pants keep hanging. (watch out Dominique. I'm going to pull them down sometime if you keep wearing them like that)

Ughhh...that's what I get for not expecting the unexpected.

And just so you know...Dom is fine. We still carry on the way we always have...just without the p0rn on the PSP

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On a better note...I am taking Dom out of that Charter school he is going to because I had a talk with his Doctor and he suggested enrolling him into Med Tech.

This is a small discription of it...

A dynamic partnership between:
Schools
Colleges and Universities
Medical Facilities
Together we address the need for medical workers that are highly skilled in advanced technologies.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, about 19 percent of all new jobs created between 2006 and 2016 will be in health services—3.6 million jobs. Through the integration of academics, medical, technological and vocational opportunities our goal is to become a new kind of medical high school that produces medical leaders for the 21st century.
Med Tech allows you to apply your academic and medical skills to real world settings. You will have an opportunity to explore the broad fields of medicine and advanced technology to help you make career decisions.

Now see, this is awesome!!

I called and they receptionist told me that there were still 30 spots available for enrollment and that I could enroll online.

So...I did.

Check out their four year course sequence:




I don't know...I know my baby is smart but I told him, "There's CALCULUS on there. I don't know calculus".

I won't be able to help him.

Then he got into this...."How do you not know calculus?? Didn't you have to know it to get through high school??"

NOPE.

Not many, many moons ago when I was in High School.

Anyway, It's in another city about an hour or so away so he will be bussed. Hopefully, this will be a big enough challenge for him!!!

I'm excited.

He's excited.

This is going to be AWESOME!