Thursday, January 15, 2009

What the hell is the big deal??? (another TMI for ya)

Angel and I have been having this discussion lately and it's really driving me up the wall.

I asked Angel to buy me some tampons and he flat out said NO!

Now, I understand that some guys do it and some guys don't. Thing is...we're not talking about some random guy I met off the street and I put in a request with him for tampons. I'm talking about my own husband who should know my cycle better than I do. (well, maybe not MY husband ..but still)

When I was younger, my dad used to buy them for my mom (and had on occasion gotten some for me).
In reality, it's just another item off of the shelf. If men are at the register with a box of tampons..what exactly do you think people are thinking? They KNOW they are not for YOU! Some people (women) may even look at you with admiration and feel slight jealously for the woman who will be receiving this precious gift (precious gift? yeah, ok...that may be overdoing it a bit) because their husbands may be riding the short bus. (like mine)

Of course, on occasion, other men may look at you and snicker (maybe not) but still..who cares?

I had to create a couple of scenarios that may sway his decision:

Scenario #1:

Me: Now, what if I was stuck on the toilet and I was out of toilet paper and at that exact moment was the time I realized we had a visitor and it was "Aunt Flo".

I call you on the phone and ask you to please bring some toilet paper AND bring some tampons for me cause I NEED them. I'll send you a pic through the phone so you know exactly what to get and you won't be cruising the isle wondering. It'll be quick. In and out. I won't even ask for the BIG BOX.

His answer: I'm not buying them.
...And you better hope you have toilet paper...use that, wad it up and go to the store.

Me: What!?!? Why not?!
C'mon now. I'm your wife of ten years. You wouldn't buy me necessities?!?!

Him: Nope!

Me: I go with you to Academy to get fishing gear!!!

Him: That's not even the same thing!!

Me: I KNOW...but I DO it!

Moving on...

Scenario #2

Me: What if I was lying on my death bed and I asked you for one thing before I drift off into the light with love in my heart. I call you close (because I am older and I would probably go first) and I whisper (with my last breath) my wish into your ear ..."tampons".

His answer: I'm not buying them. Besides, it was your last breath. You're dead now.
Me: Okay, so not my last breath, but I'm hanging on to dear life until my wish is fulfilled.
His answer: I'm not buying them.

Me: What!?!? C'mon!! I'm on my DEATH BED!! I'm asking you for my one last dying wish and you are sending me to the great beyond without fulfilling my wish??? What kind of husband are you??

His answer: You'll be too old to need them. YOU'LL BE DYING!! You're WAAAY past menopause. What do I need to buy them for?

Me: It's the principle!


Me: No BEAVIS!! I mean it's a way of showing me that after all of these years you DO love me and would eventually do what is needed.

His answer: I'm not buying them.

Me: Geez, man!

Still trying...

Scenario #3:

Me: Alright. What if we were in this terrible accident and the only thing that would keep me alive is if you bought some tampons.

His answer: That's ridiculous. How would buying tampons save your life?

Then I had to think fast....

Me: What if you needed the tampons to stop my bleeding before I bled out.

Him: You better hope your not on your period if we have an accident.

Me: What!?! No...I didn't mean THAT BLEEDING...ughhh!

Him: Well then, what?

Me: I mean maybe I got a gash or a puncture and we needed something to plug the hole (yeah...I know...plug the hole...I got the mental image too...sorry) and the only thing the store had that was sterile were some tampons but the cashier wouldn't just let you take them. You had to buy them.

His answer: I'm not buying them.

Me: FINE!!! When it's your turn to go..I'm lining your casket with tampons to cushion your journey!!!

So that's that.

I know deep in my heart..if placed in these scenarios he would do it.....fucker. (at least I hope with #'s 2 and 3)
Maybe I can show him that tampons aren't just for women anymore. Think that will work?

I was a little disturbed with our conversation after that so while he was sitting at the computer burning music...I poked him in the ear with a tampon.

So...since I have a few male readers (and I love you guys to death) (that was a little kiss-ass wasn't it) I wanted to know from you guys what exactly is the big deal?

Would you do it?

Is it really that embarrassing in this day and age with everything going on to be embarrassed buying feminine products?

Andy? Would you do it for Capricorn?

honkeie2? Do you buy them?

Dom, I know you're reading this so don't think you're exempt! You'll be driving soon and that's initiation #1! Get momma tampons!


Cherlyn said...

My ex was the exact same way. I don't think he would've bought them for me if I was on my deathbed either.

*sigh* men...

Ace C said...

I'm with him on that one. Not going on that isle for nothing.

~Sheila~ said...

I'm working on it. I'm not giving up. It'll be a monumental day when/if it happens.

One day day! (shakes fist in air)

Capricorn said...

Sigh. Ive bought them once. I stood at the store for like an hour deciding on what was what..i finally picked out the coolest box i could find..because you know, i figured it was all about packaging. I inadvertantly got a box of teen things and my girlfriend at the time was a little annoyed. I tried smoothing it over by saying something clever like, its because your so young..and well, she wasnt and she knew i was lying.

I eneded up buying her a calender to write down what day she starts so she can buy her own 'things', because its not like i ever sent her to the store for condoms!

we broke up not too long after that but i am pretty sure that wasnt the reason we did.

scargosun said...

I think P probably would buy them but I am a FREAK about what kind I buy so I probably would not trust him with the errand.

Anonymous said...

YAZ solved this dilemma for me-
No more periods! It is wonderful!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I THINK Scott has bought them for me before.

If a woman can buy condoms a man should be able to buy tampons!

Andy said...

I would definitely buy her tampons. There's no shame in it. It's a badge of honor.

honkeie2 said...

I have bought them many times! I have even gone out to the store just for them. Its called 'self check out'
But you know what I have noticed. Go to the cutie checkout girl when buying these and she will give you a cutie smile. Because she knows who they are for and most chicks love a man who can buy Red Wine Corks for his girl!