IF there a class to teach someone how NOT to lose their debit card?

I would definitely sign Angel up for one!

A couple of days ago, Angel lost his Debit card.
It disappeared like magic, right before our very eyes.

Okay, so it didn't vanish into thin air but we don't know what the hell Angel did with it.

He had it with him in his truck and we were all with him. We went through one of those drive through stores and bought a few drinks for us and the kids, then we never saw it again.

YES, we did go back and check the store.

YES, we did search the whole truck (and cleaned it in the process).

YES, Angel was subjected to a cavity search.

Well, there wasn't actually a cavity search but if you were to get one every time you lose a wallet or debit card or checkbook, then I bet he's lose his habit of losing things....QUICK!

I don't know how many time's he's lost his wallet.

Just gone.

So, who had to call the bank and say they were Angel (because we have separate bank accounts, it's a good thing the name works both ways) and give all of Angel's bank account info and order a new card for him.

Miah!

No, just kidding.

ME!

We have separate bank accounts for this very reason. I'm afraid because of the many times Angel has lost his card/wallet. I can't afford for anyone to just take it all away. I rarely/hardly ever/never lose my wallet.

I keep mostly all of the money in my account.

I also keep the checkbook.

Don't worry, I would never leave my husband and take all of the money.
Wouldn't dream of taking all of the tens of hundreds of dollars that we have.

Anyway, this happened on Saturday. We are still waiting for the new card to come in.

Trust me. No one is waiting more anxiously than I am.

Then...he asked me if he could use my card or keep the checkbook.

My heart almost stopped.

I could feel my body getting cold.

My skin tightened.

My mouth got dry and it was hard to swallow.

OMG. What do I do?

I can't tell him "NO" because, well, he makes some of the money too.

I KNOW!

CASH!

I can give him cash and he will be happy like a child and forget about MY card and the checkbook.

What?! What do you mean, "you need more money than that"? All you need is $20.

Here, take the checkbook, then.

Huh?! What?! You don't like to write checks? But you asked for the checkbook!!

My card? Really? Do you really need my card?
Oh...um...okay, what are you going to get? What are you going to do? Please don't hurt it.

So, I had to lend him my card.
As I was handing it over, I kept thinking...NO, don't do it!!! HOLD....ON....TIGHT!

Let me tell you, I was sweating it for a long time. All day.

Then he came home from his outing and I forgot to ask him about the card and then next day came and he went to work.

That's when I realized I forgot to get my card back from him and I was driving around in my work car.

I have needed an oil change for a looooong time and I've been putting it off. Finally, I thought I felt the car sputter a little bit and I was starting to freak out because I didn't want the engine to lock up on me on the highway.

I pulled into the first oil changing station I came across and they took the car and got to work.

Now with my company, I pay for any repairs the car needs (any minor repairs that I can afford like gas, wipers and oil changes) and they reimburse me.

So, I'm sitting in the waiting room and I start thinking about how much it's going to be and then I started thinking about getting my card.

Uh....I don't have my card.

Slight panic.

It's OK.
I have the checkbook.
Damn!
The checkbook isn't even in MY name. (separate accounts and I don't want checks) I don't think they will accept it.

I ask them anyway and they said, "Doesn't your company have a FLEET account with us?"

FLEET account??? What's that?

DUH!

They check, and my company does.

AWESOME!!

I didn't have to pay a damn thing!
I'm going back on Thursday because they said my transmission fluid needs changing.
Whateva!! Just put it on the Fleet account!!

Let me just say. I got home after work and snatched my card back from Angel. He's going to have to just wait it out for his. I can't be put in these predicaments.

---------------------------------------------------------------

I took my parents to the bus station yesterday morning so that they could ride the bus aaaaaaaalllllllllll the way to New York to go visit my bro and my SIL for a month.


I feel bad because I missed a call from them (they don't have a cell phone) but my mom left me a message this morning at almost 8 A.M. saying they were in Montgomery, Alabama and that they are doing fine.

ALSO!!!

As I was checking those messages.........

I got a voicemail from my brother. I don't think he meant to leave me a voicemail but you know those new Iphones....touchscreen and all....

Yeah, bro.

*tsk. tsk. tsk.*

Quit talking on the phone while driving...or was it because you were in the HOV* lane....solo?
hmmmmmm....
Sounded like no amount of apologizing was going to make that officer happy!!!





*HE CALLED AND CORRECTED ME BECAUSE I HAD ORIGINALLY PUT "EXPRESS" LANE.

"WHATEVER YOU DO.....

DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!!!"

**Okay, before I really start this post, I just want to tell everyone that this post is not meant to offend anyone in any way. I'm just simply letting you know what happens in our lives and how we handle it. If you want...consider this my disclaimer! There, I said it, so don't be gettin all mad at me!!**



On Saturday morning I knew Angel was outside messing with the speakers on the Land Rover but I didn't know that he WAS NOT ALONE!! I could hear faint talking outside.

I got up from the computer and walked over to the window and this is what I saw....

At first, I was wondering who the heck is outside. Then I was wondering why so many women were in my yard. What is my STUD up to out there?

(Que eerie music here......duh duh duuuuuuuuuuh)

"WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!"

That's what I told the kids, (after it dawned on me what was REALLY going on)

"STAY AWAY FROM THE WINDOWS!!"

Now...if you know me at all, then you probably know that I immediately snickered and ran to get my camera.
I ran to another window to get a better look and that's when the kids started getting nosey and asking questions like, "What are you doing?" and "Why are you lurking behind the curtains and taking pictures?" and "What's so funny?"

I couldn't resist. It never fails, Angel is always the one getting caught out there....alone....defenseless (usually drinking beer).

Look, don't get me wrong, we may not be avid church goers (or even church goers for that matter) but it doesn't mean we don't believe in God or Jesus or whoever you choose to talk to us about at YOUR convenience.

I love watching Angel squirm.

Then, I noticed that they had him surrounded. They know he's a big man so they needed to rely on some back-up in order for their persuasion charms to work. I have no idea how long they were out there before I noticed.

Finally, they started leaving and I opened the door and called out to Angel, "Psssst...pssst...are they gone?" He comes inside and tells me how the lady just kept talking to him and he was telling her that he really didn't want to take the pamphlets because they would just end up in the trash and that he thinks that they sent the young girl forward to "tempt" him into being more interested into listening to how much of a sinner he will be if he doesn't....blah..blah..blah...

He said he kept looking around while he was telling them no (I betcha he was praying then!)
He also said that the ladies couldn't stop looking at his shirt...

Finally, they gave in (probably thinking they were wasting their breath on the devil's spawn) and carried on, arming themselves for the next unsuspecting door opener or yard lounger.

Keep an eye out, people!

THIS IS SO NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!

So, I just picked up Dom from school and he's been gushing about how people say his hair smells like grape and how people like it. We get home and before he gets out of the truck, he tells me...

"I'm Sexy."

Ummm....ok,

Now, we've all had those moments where you tell your kids "Oh, you're such a handsome boy (or young man) " or "You're such a pretty girl."

This is not one of those moments!! NOPE.

I am sooo not going to sit here and tell Dom, "That's right my baby! You are such a SEXY boy, yes you are..."

No, my dears. Not gonna happen.

What did happen, you ask?

Well, after I exhaled from that huge gasp I just took because my son just got finished telling me about his sexiness, I told him..

NO! YOU'RE NOT!!! YOU ARE NOT SEXY AT ALL.

Then I reminded him what happens to families who think they are sexy amongst themselves or anything along those lines and the only thing that came to mind is...

Do any of you guys out there know this person?
I know my bro and SIL do.

His name....is SEX. He used to be a contestant on So You Think You Can Dance and his mom was a little bit upset that he didn't make the cut.

Yes, I know. Amazingly stunning isn't he?
His mom backs him up on it!

Not this mom, not me, nuh uh!
I love my son, I really do, and I will back him up on whatever he decides to do in his life (just don't be implicating me in your crimes, Dom!) but to me...he's not SEXY.

What point in life is it when you consider your son sexy...oh, ummm...NEVER!!!

So, for you strange mothers out there who absolutely...*ahem* ...love your sons...

This is for you::

via videosift.com

AND THIS....is just to put a little more icing on the cake for ya!

If you're looking for more...click this link:

dancemedia.com :: Dave Soller - Dance Spirit 2008 Cover Model Search entrant

Some minor changes...

Dominique took his math TAKS test and got a commended performance on it. It basically means he got a 90 or above.

As his reward, I decided to go ahead and let Dom lighten his hair as much as he could and then I would re-dye his hair purple.


I told him that we would do it this week ( I had actually told him that we would do it this past weekend but things came up).


No sooner had I gotten home from work yesterday did Dom start badgering me to start. He sounded like those seagulls from Finding Nemo...mine, mine, mine, mine......now, now, now, now....


So we got to it.


This is what his hair looked like before we started. I know it's not a pretty good pic because Dom took it with his cell, but it'll do.

Here, we're getting ready to wash out the dye. We have to do it outside or our shower will be dyed purple.

He's a nut. Look at how he's holding the hose. OOPS, I LIED.

I found another pic of his "orange" hair color...and really check out the pic. This is why I say he's a "nut".

We're outside on the cement furniture because that's where we washed the dye out last time. I don't care if the furniture is purple, it fades anyway.

HERE...

We have the end result. I don't know what's up with the poses. It wasn't my idea.

What WAS my idea was keeping the pic ABOVE the nipple line. We are not posting porn here!

Can you see the purple?

I like it. I think it looks closer to his natural hair color this way..which is JET BLACK!

Well, now that that's done, for now, I won't be bugged about anything for awhile (I hope).

Today and Tomorrow he's taking 2 more tests.

I wish him luck (even though I know he will ace it).
------------------------------------------------------------------------

This stupid Swine Flu has really put a damper on things, huh?

Schools cancelled (not my kid's, not yet).

Devyn was scheduled to have a Baseball tourney this weekend but the city cancelled all practices and the tourney because of the flu.

Dammit! I need to develop my athlete!!

Well, I guess we could always start *gag* running and training for track. Not saying anything about runners...I just hate running, sprinting, jogging, hurrying, and even skipping unless I have to go to the bathroom.

That's it. I'm going to work. Hopefully, none of my patients are sick because then I will be looking at them all funny and slathering on hand sanitizer.

I'm looking into having a jet pack size one so I can just have it strapped to my back and it'll spray out like Ghost busters.

Have a good one you guys!

I'M OUT!

For Lisa...

Isn't it precious?

Yup, this is the same type of doll that Miah had that was creeping the shit out of us. (minus the Simpson character)

I swear it was the devil lamb from hell (that prays in a child's voice to fool you).

Be expecting a couple in the mail. I'm sure some poor soul would love to be rid of these Satan dolls.

I wonder how many I can find. Can you imagine a whole herd of them chanting together the prayer. Turning themselves on and randomly saying the prayer. At night. When you're trying to sleep........alone. *shudder*

All yours chica!!

Love ya!

P.S. Make sure you don't let the batteries start to die!!!

New Addition to the Family

No....

I'm not talking about more pets! I know you guys have heard enough about our 2 hamsters (who are now dead...don't come and get me PETA), the gerbil (who will survive along with the roaches when the apocolypse comes), Tattoo and Snowball (who are now BOTH outside cats) and Venus and Serena.
I'm not counting the people who live INSIDE the house.

Nope, people..

This new addition has been born into the BLOGGER WORLD and is my SIL!
Her name is SHERLISA and her Blog is called Vivrant-Thing.
I love her and you will too!!!

Let me tell you MY side of the story about how my brother passed up valuable time with ME over for a girl. She can tell you her side some other time on her blog (hint, hint)

Okay, I had taken a couple of weeks off (I say "off" but I wasn't actually working at the time...whatever) to go visit my brother in NY. I flew up there and one night we were planning on going out.
Well, actually, MY BROTHER was planning on going out and planning on leaving me with our cousins. I wasn't fully aware of this until we got to my cousins house.

So, we're still at my brother's house getting ready and at this time, he had just recently bought a house that was in need of demolishing repairs. No, really, just minor smacks to the wall with a sledgehammer was all that was needed.

Sooo, we're dressed and heading down the stairs. The very same stairs that didn't have a handrail (I don't think) at the time and I was wearing these boots with 2 INCH heels (what was I thinking?....oh yeah.....suicide!) and I BUSTED MY ASS on the stairs.
At least no one needed to help me down the rest of them.

My brother came to my aid...but just to look and ask if I was "OK" and then after that was confirmed...he turned ......and snickered...(I know you were snickering BRO!!) I'm also pretty sure he's told everyone too.
So, after I survived the tumble, we put on the helmets and hit the road.

Wait....did I say HELMETS? Yeah, I did.

My bro had a motorcycle at the time and he decided we were going to head from Long Island to Brooklyn on it.
He asked me if I knew how to ride on a motorcycle and I was all..."Pbbst...hell yeah, let's go!"

uh...perhaps I should have explained that my previous experience of riding motorcycles consisted of...straddling the bike, wrapping my arms around the person steering and holding on for dear life.

So...we were off....

......in record speed......

He told me, "Keep your knees in!"

HUH??
WHAT???
WHAT DO YOU MEAN KEEP MY KNEES IN???

Exactly what he meant.
We came up to a line of cars on the highway and we zoomed by them at breakneck speed.
I don't know how many cars we passed. My eyes were closed and my knuckles were white.

We finally got to my cousin's house and I felt compelled to let my bro know how lucky he was that I didn't pee on his seat.
I was this close!

Anyway, he leaves me there and my cousin's and I went out.
We went to this one bar and had a few expensive drinks and then.....

My bro walks in.
One of my cousin's was mad because he ditched me.

He booked out of there really fast and my cousin followed him to another place.
Turns out, he had ditched me because he had a date....with SHERLISA.

DUH....why didn't he say so???

(like I said...she has her side of the story and I have mine)

She and I had never crossed paths during my whole 2 week stay in NY but we did eventually meet and I'm glad she's the one he ditched me for because now I have two ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL nieces!!

She and I like to talk on the phone about stupid stuff for hours.
My bro constantly confuses our names (Sheila/Lisa, Lisa/Sheila)

So, moral of the story?

If you're gonna get ditched, get ditched for someone who will join your family. (if you can manage that)

Go check her out guys!!
Show her some love and tell her I sent you!!

Vivrant-Thing

GUESS WHAT I GOT!!!

HUH?


What?!?


NOOO!!!...Not something that needs to be cured with Antibiotics like my girl Muffy.

Let me just say that I'm totally glad it's nothing like that!


(Pssst...hope all is well down under girlie!)


Now, back to what I was all excited about (cause we know that bit of info probably wasn't very exciting for her at all)...


I got an Anniversary Present from Honkeie2!!


YEAH!!



THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!


I LOVE IT!! I LOVE IT!!
It's what I always wanted!


What?!? Isn't that what you're supposed to say??


You guys have to go and check out Honkeie2's page. I can't remember how I stumbled across him but I know I kept coming back cause he kept posting these funky facial expression pics and they were cracking my ass up. He's hilarious with his "subliminal" comments. Can't get enough.

I asked him what was up with those pics and...from then (along with our mutual love of Boone's)....we were...inseparable.

(P.S. Wanna join the Boone's Farm Fan Club with me Honkeie2?)


Lately, this guy has been drinking some crazy shit, though!
This guy obviously likes challenges!!

He's Hilarious! I'm sure you'll get a kick out of him. Hang out long enough with him and....months later....VOILA!



Gifts in the mail!



Go ahead guys, check him out.

If you leave a comment...make sure it's something explicit.

He's into stuff like that.

(If you happen to mention small furry animals combined with those explicit comments....you might get a gift too. I'm not saying that's how I got my gift or anything, I got it because of my Anniversary, but go ahead and give it a try. Couldn't hurt, right?)



No..For Real.

Thank you very much!


I really appreciate it!




SOOOO, the present came in right?!?
AAAAND....funny story......



Customs got to it before I could.


Yup.


Let me explain...Obviously this wasn't MY doing!!


It had come in to the post office a few days ago and normally I would have gone to pick it up between patients but since I didn't actually have any patients....I was stuck in the office until 5.

So, Angel is off today and I asked him to please pick it up for me.


He did....


and then,


he went to...


Mexico...

with it.



So, on the way back, they stopped him and searched the truck and opened up the box and searched the package. I hate when people open up my stuff.


My gift was violated.


But!! I'm totally loving the pink Styrofoam peanuts!! I was digging through there hoping that maybe you had sent some money, you know, just because.


I've given it some thought and I've decided that YOU DID send me some money but Customs took it when they searched the box.


THOSE BASTARDS!!

(Maybe you should file a claim cause, you know, you sent it and all. OR...just send it to me..again!! I'll leave it up to you.)


Thank You!!



Mom Taxi Julie!! I'm waiting for that book to come in and I will write about that too!! Thank you too!!

P.S. Angel came back from Mexico with a new Tattoo. More on that later!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------
This part is for my SIL!!

If she doesn't get started blogging soon I'm just going to have to taunt her with her new found favorite things!

Here you go...

RASPAS for you!

Order whatever you want...it's on me!